Welcome to our second date! Whew, just like any female after a first date, you just never know if it will lead to a second! For those of you wondering why the crazy lady is talking about dates, go catch up with my first blog! Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Ok on to our second date, we went through some basics before, but we are still getting to know each other. So this round of Brooklyn’s Bullets is going to be *drumroll please* the motherload of single motherhood! Now instead of this trying to be informative because let’s be honest evvvvvvvvvvveryone has advice for single moms! So much to the point, we can see it coming from a mile away and prepare ourselves to tune out what follows and just smile and nod so we don’t end up in orange or stripes! Keep your advice and keep moving Karen! No, this time we are going to go celebrate everything that makes us bad beezy’s! Woot woot! (Yes, I just did that but get excited dammit!)
Let’s do this is in top ten fashion! So here are Brooklyn’s Bullets to Baddie Single parents!
#10 – We have become multitaskers overnight!
From the day/night that our little bundle of joy graced the earth, some like wrecking balls, we have juggled sleep, life chores, bonding time, and more often than not, careers! We have mastered the timing of loads of laundry we can get done while feeding lunch and still know how many minutes we can possibly shut our eyes for before the little spawn *cough* I mean, little coo’ing cuteness wakes up! It’s seven minutes. Seven glorious minutes of quiet!
#9 – We speak multiple languages! Oui!
Now, as amazing as it would be if we instantly could add another language to our resumes, I’m talking about the first couple years that we understand and sometime speak in sounds and unspellable words! We can tell a tooting sound from an “uh oh where’s the closest changing table?” sound! People without kids are left speechless!
#8 – We have become bargain shoppers!
Before kids, we did not care if we bought name brand jeans for ourselves, we deserved to splurge! Now that we have someone dependent on us and they just so happen to grow exponentially! Mo’ growing mo’ problems! Err..clothes! So we know where to go for inexpensive clothes for newborn, toddler, and so forth. Same for our own clothes because, let’s face it, it is collateral damage! We all know what that means even if you didn’t have the visuals flooding back like I did! *shutters* R.I.P. White blouse! I miss you!
#7 – We have mastered bill juggling!
I’m not saying we were racking in the dough before our new role of ‘head of household’ but we have new bills to factor in. That means we reevaluate what is needed and what is not. We sacrifice our daily Starbucks (or for me Dutch Bros!) because well…diapers. Need I say more? I didn’t think so.
#6 – We are more safety conscious than we have ever been!
Long gone are the days of ending up praising the porcelain god, swearing we would ‘never do it again’ after almost dying in some parking lot with people we really barely knew. We now are almost certifiable safety instructors with cabinets baby proofed even when they’re teenagers (don’t judge me!) and offer our wealth of knowledge when it comes to child safety in cars! Yes, sometimes our own names are Karen. We can’t help it!
#5 – We rule the world! OK at least ours!
We went from being the little birdie leaving the nest to guarding our own! We are the ones setting the rules! Who do the kids answer to? Oh that’s right! Us. Just remember with great power, comes great responsibility. Tidbit FYI! That was not even Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben that said that! #MyComicLifeHasBeenALie
#4 – We have a whole new relationship with our parents!
Ah yes, the pivot from child to parent that shifts our entire being! We then realize that we no longer answer to our parents and they have absolutely no control over how we parent! Pfffffffft! What no one, ABSOLUTELY no one tells you is that your parent NEVER get that memo! Like, ever. However, your parent will have a new appreciation for the human they raised when (not if) you have the epiphany that we sucked sometimes as kids and do phone call of shame to tell them you are so so very sorry! It’s ok, we all do it. Enjoy the bonding moment and just remember it when you’re breathing through the never ending “advice” they sometimes forcefully give! #NoOrange
#3 – We have more patience than we thought possible!
This one is not to say we don’t all lose it from time to time and cry in the shower! If we can make it through the “why” stage of even one kid let alone multiple children, we all deserve a little plaque with Mother Theresa on it declaring us Patience Saints! I’m not even religious but I feel slightly cheated that I never got one!
#2 – We have become more self aware!
We did not have to go through a midlife crisis to find out who we are! Thank goodness because balding like men would suck, although they do get a convertible with theirs, hmm. We have discovered our ever changing bodies and went through the “I’m beautiful dammit” stage of accepting it. Strike that, we keep going through it. Most importantly, we have evolved so freaking much that while taking in our child’s milestones, we miss our own sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate them! Scrapbooking then might be a little much though! To each their own though!
#1 – We love so fiercely!
My absolute favorite one! As women, we have this super human ability to love beyond words, beyond measure, and beyond any other type of love we will ever have! We created a life and gave ours to someone with the tiniest of hands. To be a piece of our heart walking outside of our chest! The only people we willingly give our last French fry to! The one feet we kiss obsessively because they’re just so yummy! They posses the ever healing giggle that even when we are about to burst into tears, regardless if their voice is little or sounds like a grown man because they’re eighteen and going into the service (gah help me! Sniffle) with those three little words they can make us ready to take on the world!
Ladies and gentlemen, I applaud every single (pun intended) one of you for being or having ever been a single parent! You are more than rock stars, I guarantee that you are someone’s hero!